Basic Aviation Philosophy

What's the difference between a duck and a co-pilot?

  A duck can fly.

  A check ride ought to be like a skirt -
  Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.

  Speed is life -  Altitude is life insurance.

  It only takes two things to fly: airspeed and money.

  The three most dangerous things in aviation:
  1. A doctor or dentist in a Bonanza.
  2. Two captains in a DC-3
  3. A flight attendant with a chipped tooth.

  Aircraft Identification:
  If it's ugly, it's British.
  If it's weird, it's French.
  If it's ugly and weird, it's Russian.

  Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another very expensive flying club.

  The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement.   A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.

  The similarity between ATC (Air Traffic Controllers) and pilots?
  If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
  If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

  It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break  
  wind and head into the ground.

  The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that  
  the engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate.

  The FAA motto:
  'We're not happy till you're not happy.'

  If something hasn't broken on your helicopter--it's about to.

  Basic Flying Rules:

  1. Stay in the middle of the air, that is, don't go near the edges.

  2. The edges can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees or interstellar space.

 

Landing Signal Offficer (LSO) to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful approach attempt: 'You've got to land here, son. This is where the food and fuel is.'